


beat and broken spirits

by antoniohiggins



Series: tumblr requests (newsies) [8]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Boys In Love, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, I love that that’s a tag, Jack Needs a Hug, Kinda, Love Confessions, M/M, Poor Jack, jack goes to the refuge instead of crutchie au, only the first four characters actually show up but the others are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 09:39:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14041404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antoniohiggins/pseuds/antoniohiggins
Summary: a lil au in which jack ends up going to the refuge instead of crutchie. sad shit ensues.prompts: “please help me” & “it just...hurts” with vulnerable jack





	beat and broken spirits

 

Jack knew it was stupid. He knew he was abandoning his newsies and virtually all of Manhattan, but he couldn’t care less. He knew Race had been dying to actually do something as his second in command and with Davey there, they’d be able to hold down the fort just fine.

_Davey._

God, it had only been a day and he already missed him. Besides, he had no way of knowing if he was okay or not and the suspense was tearing him apart.

Davey was a part of him. They fit together like puzzle pieces, as cheesy as it was. They were two opposite pieces that fit perfectly when they were together, but now they were apart and there was nothing he could do.

Still, he didn’t regret it. Crutchie was his brother. The oldest family he’s ever known and he’d be damned if he ever let anything happen to that boy.

So into the refuge he went. It was a small price to pay, really.

But being away from them all was absolute torture. He’d been with all of those kids every day for as long as he could remember, but they had all spent nights apart in the past. Some more than others with a few kids going home to their folks like Davey or others like Race spending as much as weeks in Brooklyn at a time. Nonetheless, he missed them all when he didn’t have a choice if he could see them or not. Back home he could always spend the night at Medda’s theater if he wanted or even go visit other boroughs occasionally, but he could always go back home afterwards.

Not anymore.

So he kept his mouth shut and tried to make his stay as short and painless as possible.

That proved to be extremely difficult when Snyder came in for his first night. It had been nearly five years since jack had escaped from the refuge, but all of that pent up anger still remained and he held no mercy.

Jack woke up on the floor the next morning with more bruises than he could count.

Despite it all, he kept to himself, biting his tongue when he felt like spewing insults and holding his breath when he felt like crying. It wasn’t healthy, he knew that, but there was one way he would survive in there and that was by hiding anything they could use to hurt him.

He had a few things keeping him going; his family of brother and sisters and David Jacobs.

Davey was really something else. He was someone Jack would’ve never thought he’d find himself caring about, but that boy had a monopoly over his heart and Jack had no idea what to do. He didn’t know what to do with those feelings, but he sure as hell couldn’t make them known here if he wanted to live to see another day.

He was glad he did. Every time he decided to live one more day, there was something that made him regret it. He’d get picked my Snyder yet another time or he’d get sent to solitary for a day, but every time something made it feel like hell was sunshine and rainbows, something else would come around and he’d have a little sliver of hope again.

About three days in, he saw Specs at the barred window and nearly wept with relief. He wouldn’t have cared who they sent, but to see a friend was like a miracle. Still, that wasn’t all as the boy slid a small bundle of papers through the bars and told Jack he would be back with some of the others in the morning. He hadn’t been so happy in ages.

So he tucked the bundle under a mattress and waited until after Snyder had came to make his final rounds for the night. He climbed up to the windowsill once he was sure everyone else was asleep and read every page under the dim streetlights outside.

There was a letter from nearly everyone he loved.

_‘Heya Jack, I guess ya’ could say I’s doin’ alright takin’ over for ya’, but it really ain’t the same without ya’. Don’t tell any a’ tha’ others I’s sayin’ that, but you’s way better than I could eva’ be. Wish me luck, Jackie. You’s gonna’ make it outta’ there, I promise ya’, and when ya’ do, I’ll do my best ta’ make sure you’s got somethin’ left ta’ come back to. -Racer’_

He knew there was no way Race wasn’t selling himself short, but it was nice to know he’d at least still have a borough to come home to.

_‘Jack these kids is losin’ they’s shit without you so hurry up and get ya’ ass outta’ there. -Spot Conlon’_

That one was a surprise. Well, not what he wrote, but the fact that Spot Conlon took the time to write something was, well, something.

_‘Jack, I don’t even know what ta’ say. I could say thank you’s, but I wish ya’ hadn’t done it. I could say I miss you’s, but that’s not even close ta’ how badly I need ya’ back. Specs n’ Race won’t let me come see ya’, but jus’ know I’d be there if I could. I’ll be here waitin’ for ya’ for as long as it takes. Your brother, Crutchie’_

Okay that one he really had to try not to cry. He knew he wouldn’t if it meant it would ruin the writing, but he wanted to so bad.

He could tell exactly what the next one was without even reading a word. It was perfectly written with impeccable spelling and handwriting so neat it could’ve been printed.

_‘Jackie, I need you out of there. I don’t know what I have to do, but I can’t do this without you. I can’t seem to bring myself to say anything I need to, but I guess that’s just because I trust you enough to get yourself out of there. I’ll be there to see you soon, I promise. Just hold on. I need you around so don’t you dare think about anything less than coming back home. I’ll wait as long as it takes. -David’_

God, Davey just… _did_ things to him. _Feelings_ things. Disgusting, annoying, and painful feelings that would get him killed in a heartbeat if anyone found out.

He quickly stuffed the letters under his mattress and curled up on the windowsill. The next morning couldn’t come soon enough.

So he stood through beatings and woke up to yet another fist to his stomach. The blood in his mouth had become almost natural at that point as he added to the stain on the cuff of his sleeve and collected himself off the ground.

The other kids in the refuge weren’t cruel for leaving him alone, he was the only one they touched and for them to get a break from the never-ending torture of Snyder’s hand, they would take it gladly. Jack understood. The first time he was in the refuge, he would’ve done the same, he didn’t blame them at all.

But he wanted to get out. He wanted to be able to go home. He wanted to be back in the lodging house and lecture the kids about leaving the door open and probably stop Finch from shooting rocks at pedestrians out the window with his slingshot and he wanted to slip a few pennies into the pocket of a kid who’d had a slow day. He wanted to go home and take a head count of all of his kids as they came back from selling and tuck the little ones into their bunks like a real dad and tease the ones cuddled up and sharing together like a real big brother would. He wanted to pretend like he didn’t know what Race was doing when he snuck through the window past midnight with his hair ruffled and his suspenders hastily buckled. He wanted to chase around one of the younger kids that decided to try on Specs’ glasses. He wanted to save Katherine from Romeo’s never-ending advances when she came to visit. He wanted to go home so he could leave again in the morning to go with all of his kids to the circulation gates and see Davey again.

That was the only thing keeping him going as he crawled his virtually-useless form up to the window and grinned at the boys climbing up the fire escape.

He could see the sun spots refracting onto the metal bars and the bright red waves from a mile away but before he knew it, there they were right outside the bars and he finally felt a little closer to home.

“Jack, holy shit!” Albert practically screamed as he climbed up to the window, jack quickly slipping his thin wrist through the bars to quiet him.

“Shut up, ya’ hear? If Snyder comes back ‘ere I ain’t got a chance,” Jack hissed, relaxing a little when he was sure no one was coming. “I can’t have ‘im gettin’ the two a’ you’s too.”

Specs crawled up beside Albert and nodded solemnly. “Yeah, we’s sorry. It’s jus’…ya’ look terrible Jack.”

He rolled his eyes to hide the fact that he knew just how bad he looked and that wasn’t even the worst of it.

“Thanks, real charmers, both a’ you’s,” he teased before they decided that the two weren’t having any of it. “I’s fine, I’ll be out a’ here in no time, jus’ make sure Manhattan doesn’t implode while I’s gone.”

That got a smirk out of Albert at least.

“I think when ya’ get back you’s gonna’ need a new second,” he chuckled knowingly, nudging Specs who groaned.

“What? Don’t tell me Racer cracked unda’ pressure,” Jack exhaled, running his hands through his hair.

“Nah, he’s doin’ jus’ fine, but he’s got some competition now ’s all,” Specs clarified, intriguing Jack.

“Crutchie?”

“ _Davey_ ,” he corrected, Jack grinning at the mention of the boy.

“Oh,” he spoke softly, a slight redness covering his cheeks as he couldn’t shake the smile. “How is he?”

The two boys looked between each other before shifting towards the ladder.

“He made us promise not ta’ say anythin’ until he could come visit,” Albert started, swinging down onto the ladder. “He’s comin’ by in a few hours. He jus’ had ta’ make sure Les got home okay, but he’s been real worried ‘bout you’s.”  
And with that he dipped down out of view and Specs took his place, descending down the ladder after the other.

“Jus’ try ta’ stay safe, Jackie. We’s got a plan in tha’ works ta’ get you’s outta’ there, don’t worry,” he winked, slipping down the ladder and leaving Jack sitting there with a giddy smile on his face.

_Davey. Davey was coming to see him. He was going to get to see Davey._

He couldn’t shake the smile off his face for the rest of the afternoon. In fact, he waited on that windowsill all day until he heard the rattling of the ladder and all of a sudden…there he was.

“Jack?” Davey’s shy voice broke Jack from his awe-like trace as he just stared at the boy with childlike wonder.

“Oh my god you’re real,” he spoke, unintentionally out loud.

The other boy’s smile was enough to make Jack feel like he was already out and running free. He made him feel like he was already back home. Davey made him feel at home.

_Davey felt like home._

“Jackie…what have they been doing to you?” Davey looked horrified as he slipped his wrists through the bars on the window as let his fingers brush gently over the bruises covering the other boy’s face and neck. He could feel his face heat up at the touch, but shied away, his heart pounding out of his chest.

“It’s nothing, Dave. I’s serious, it ain’t that bad,” he mumbled, trying to keep the smile on the other boy’s face as long as he could. “How’s tha’ strike goin’?”

Davey looked disappointed at Jack’s sudden change of topic, but shrugged it off anyway.

“We’re managing. We had an idea to hold this rally at Medda’s theater with all the city’s newsies,” he spoke, brightening a little talking about their plans.

“Tha’ rest a’ tha’ city? You mean they’s all with us?” Jack couldn’t help but feel a rise of hope in his heart as Davey confirmed.

“It wasn’t worth it though,” Davey grumbled, his excited expression crumbling.

Jack froze, looking up and reaching through the bars to place his hand on Davey’s knee.

“What d’you-“

“Losing you wasn’t worth it, Jackie,” he whispered, leaning his head against the bars of the window, Jack doing the same. “I…I can’t do _this_ without you.”

Jack felt his eyes burning and his throat close up as he reached through the bars, clinging to the other boy’s hands for dear life.

“I need you’s all ta’ make this work, Dave,” he started, his voice cracking as tears spilled down his cheeks. “I _can’t_ stay in this place, I’s running out a’ things that make me want ta’ keep goin’, I don’t…know what to do without you here.”

As soon as those words left his lips, the tears he was held back for so long just cascaded down his cheeks in an unstoppable flood.

“I-i’s s’pposed ta’ be strong n’ get out a’ here so’s I can get back home, b-but I jus’ want out. Not just out a’ here, but jus’… _out in general_ ,” he whimpered, a small sob cracking Davey’s own ragged breaths as he grabbed Jack’s hands, clutching them tightly.

“ _No, no no no_ , Jackie I _need_ you! I can’t do this without you much longer, I-I’m nothing without you here. I’m gonna’ fix this, I promise you,” he whispered, neither of them daring to look at anything other than their intertwined hands.

 **“P-please help me…,”** he choked out. “I don’t _want_ to feel like this, **it just…hurts.”**

Davey nodded shakily with their foreheads pressed together.

“I know, I know, but we’re gonna’ get you out of here in no time and then once we do,” he exhaled, sniffling slightly. “I’m never letting you go again, I promise.”

Maybe it was a mix of all of the loneliness and the finality of their conversation, but for whatever reason, this felt like his only chance. Jack leaned back, Davey’s hurt expression appearing the moment they separated, but Jack simply pulled him close with their hands clasped together as their lips met gently through the bars over the window.

When they separated, it only seemed to hurt more that, yes there definitely was a chance that they’d never be able to do that again, but with one heartbroken smile from each, they promised each other that they’d make sure it wasn’t. Davey slipped out of view, tears still running down his cheeks as he climbed down the fire escape and reluctantly left Jack alone up on the windowsill to sit with his thoughts.

 _One more day_ , he told himself. _Just keep going one more day._

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to everyone for reading! feel free to leave a comment/kudos, they always make my day and if you want to request or suggest something, I promise I will write it! also you can submit a prompt request on my tumblr @tony-higgins!
> 
> <3


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